This past week I have been feeling so resentful. Resentful of my work, resentful of my children, resentful of my husband. Resentful of commitments that I have made. Resentful of Christmas being so expensive and resentful that so much of myself has drifted away. Being a parent can be so overwhelming, boring, exhausting and sometimes when you are caught up in the daily grind you can easily forget just how lucky you are.
This evening I looked at my children and my husband playing happily with each other. I looked at our lovely warm living room with our Christmas tree and festive decorations. I looked inside our fully stocked fridge to decide what we should eat tonight. I googled some outfit options for the boys to wear at Christmas and I made a list of the last bits we need to buy for family and friends. And then I stopped. I stopped in my tracks and if I'm completely honest I felt disappointed in myself. Yes of course it's normal to feel resentment at times. But how is it possible that someone like myself who has everything I need and more is guilty of feeling like world has dealt me tough cards? It simply hasn't, my life is really quite perfect.
There are so many families who have true reason to feel resentment this Christmas. Families who can't afford to keep their babies warm. Families who can't afford to nourish their babies with proper meals from week to week, let alone plan a Christmas day meal. There are tens of thousands of children who will go to bed on Christmas eve and Father Christmas will never come. There will be nothing left at the end of their bed on Christmas morning. They won't have a Christmas lunch or anything to celebrate at all. And then there are the people who have no family and who will be on their own this Christmas. There are people who might be able to afford a feast but they won't have anyone to share it with. There are mums who are trying to scrape every last penny together to ensure their babies have something.....anything to open on Christmas morning. When I think of these children, these families my heart breaks. So this evening when I tucked my boys into bed I kissed them a little harder and hugged them a little longer. They have no idea just how blessed, loved and protected they are.
So when things get busy and I feel resentment I am going to make sure that I remember the people who are less fortunate that me. And when my children are old enough I am going to make sure they understand that not everyone is as lucky as them.
This year we have spent £10 for each of our boys stockings (10 presents each brought at poundland) Something that allot of people have grimaced at when I have told them. Christmas is expensive and we would like to be able to contribute something to people who really need it. My children do not NEED anything. They want everything of course but they don't need it. So the extra money we have left over will go towards filling another child's stocking this Christmas.
There are lots of ways you can support people who are struggling this Christmas. Every little really does help. I have attached some links below but I would love for you to all to share the charities and causes that you will be supporting this Christmas in the comments below.
As always Thank you.
The Guilty Mummy xxx