I will still always love you.....

To my big boy, I’m getting tired now but don't forget how much I love you. Things are going to change soon and I know you need me now more than ever. I feel like I should be giving you every moment of my time and we should be doing lovely things everyday until the new baby arrives. I'm sorry that I'm not giving you all of that right now. I’m sorry that I am trying to make you change your ways. I am sorry that I am being stricter, that I am trying to encourage you with your potty, that I am taking your dummy away at certain times of the day. I am not being cruel (although I feel it everyday) I just want to prepare you to become more independent for when things change. You are still my baby and I will try to remember not to rush you too much. I'm sorry that my tummy makes it difficult for me to roll down hills with you and I'm sorry I can't pick you every time you ask. Seeing you hold your chubby little arms up and cry breaks my heart. As your sibling grows bigger in my tummy I am becoming slower and you.....well you get faster everyday! You are outrunning me now......don't fear though, in just a couple of months I will be able to catch you again! In some ways it's sad that already your baby sibling is taking some of your time with me. I think this is going to be a regular occurrence very soon but please know how much I love you. When baby comes I will try and make sure we still have our own time. I will try and show you how to love and care for the new member of our family and I will try to involve you in everything I do. But please know that sometimes it won't happen and sometimes I will forget how much you need me too. I'm going to be really tired for a little while when baby arrives but I will still love you just as much. I have been told that I tried to drown my 2 day old baby brother with a watering can when he was born......please don't try to do the same to yours. I’m so looking forward to giving you the gift of a sibling. Give it time……it may seem strange and unsettling at first but this little one will be your greatest ally and your friend for life. I hope this gift will be the best one we can give you. So whilst we live through these times just always remember that for you there is nothing that can't be fixed with a cuddle from me and I will always be there for those no matter what is happening! So to my big boy.....know that I love you and I'm here for you even as things change....


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© 2019 by The Guilty Mummy