The very first blog I wrote was titled “Tomorrow I will be a better mummy”. My intention was to follow on with this blog post about 'being a better wife', However, this didn't happen because I couldn't quite work out how to write it, as (of course) Im a bloody good wife ;-) It's only over this weekend that several things have clicked in my mind and now feel it’s time to write and share it with you all!
I often find myself coming across other mummy bloggers who have written about how their husbands don't understand them, about how their relationship has been under pressure since their child arrived and how their husbands really don't get what they actually do on a day to day basis. Firstly let me start by saying I LOVE these blogs. We regularly have the “who does more” argument in our household, which also usually leads onto the horrible rows over who pays for everything and so on…..If you are a mum you will get this! So when I see these blogs it makes me relieved that I am not the only one who sometimes feels unappreciated and who wishes their husband could walk in their shoes for a week to see how they would feel.
But even with the above in mind THIS blog post is actually not about me and my feelings but instead my husbands. It's dawning on me that whilst I feel at times that staying at home with my son is tough it could well be even tougher for my husband having to live with me!
I don't quite know how I have been blessed with such an amazing husband and father to my son. When we were expecting Marley I knew that my husband would love him, but I never expected him to adore him quite so much. I was the one who was keen to start a family and he agreed after a few months of persuasion. But as soon as he held Marley for the first time in the delivery room there was an instant bond between them, and that has only grown stronger as time has gone on.
The first two weeks that we were together as a family he helped me with EVERYTHING! He helped with the baby, he gave me time to go and sleep, he cleaned the house, he did the food shopping. He sat and hugged me whilst I sobbed ALL DAY on the dreaded “Day3 postpartum” and come to think of it Day 4 & 5 too. When I thought I was a terrible mother because I couldn't feed my baby anymore and because I couldn't stop crying he reassured me that I was just perfect and it would all be ok.
When I got the flu when Marley was 4 months he took care of him, he took him out so I could rest, he juggled work and being a mum for the week.
When Marley got sick and had to go into hospital he dropped all his work and came with us even though he had lots on that day. He sat for hours whilst I panicked and he reassured me it would all be ok. When the doctors said they needed to take blood he insisted he would be the one to stay in the room and pin Marley down so that I didn't have to see it.
During those long nights where Marley has spiked a fever he has helped me calm him down and get him back to sleep.
If I have had a bad day and the house is a mess when he finishes work he helps me clean, tidy and finish the washing. I might add that he usually gets his head ripped off for this because I feel like he is trying to make a “point” that I am not doing enough but thats just me being crazy!
When he has finished helping me get the house sorted he sits down and plays with Marley until its bath time. Not just standard playing but the cutest playing I ever did see :-) He chases him round the house, he tickles him and sings songs to him.
He baths him most nights so I can get the house sorted and get everything ready for bedtime.
When it comes to the weekend and I feel like I should be able to have a rest he helps me with Marley.
When Marley goes to bed he sits and listens to me talking about such boring, trivial things such as baby groups and how another mum gave me a funny look etc , etc. He probably just wants to sit in peace but I need some adult interaction and he tries really hard to give that to me. Bless him!
When we moved into our new house last year he took 3 weeks off work and renovated the whole house. He worked day and night to get it perfect for our moving in date.
When something in the house needs fixing he fixes it. When something in the house needs decorating he does it.
He does all of the above and more ONTOP of his full time job and I think that maybe I don't give him enough credit for that. Yes, I am tired, yes being a mum is relentless and yes of course there will always be that little bit of resentment now and again. I don't think its possible not to feel that at times but I am so very thankful and proud of the man he is. He works incredibly hard everyday to make sure that we all have a roof over our head and can live the comfortable life we lead. I often forget that whilst I am knee deep in nappies thinking he gets it quite easy he actually has the full responsibility of keeping us going! Some days I would give anything to be back at work but the responsibility of being the sole breadwinner must be really hard.
So today I have decided that tomorrow I will be a better wife. A wife that remembers how much he does for me even when I feel unappreciated and tired. I think some men (the good men) get a bit too much stick from us women and sometimes its good to stop and remember what they do for us too :-)
Let me know if you to have a fantastic husband that you don't always appreciate enough!